Although my vision of what I wanted to do was no longer clear, who I wanted to be was never a question. I had a vision of the woman I wanted to be from a young age.
I became a very self-conscious person, very far from the girl I knew. I started thinking about everything a hundred times, even something as simple as sending a text. I became so indecisive and constantly relying on other people to pick me up or make decisions for me. I almost didn't recognise the person I was anymore, it was so far from the person I used to be and that's when I realised something had broke inside of me. It all happened so fast that I struggled to shrug it off. It was too deep now.
I know I said before that I would be back to blogging regularly, but I felt that I still had a lot of "figuring things out" to do. I didn't want to keep doing something for the sake of it but instead because I really enjoyed doing it and I felt that I was serving a purpose. So instead, I kept my head down and continued working at my job until I figured it out.
I want to share a few of the difficulties I have faced, one of the biggest ones being self-doubt and losing my confidence. I've gotten to a place now where I do not care what people think again. I'm finally saying "F it" again. - I hadn't done that in nearly two years and I probably wouldn't be writing this post right now if I didn't feel that way.